Baring My Soul For NaBloPoMo

my latest confessional on my prose blog, Inner Life of Pua Nani

Inner Life of Pua Nani

I have been longing to connect with you, dear reader. I have been thinking of you. Of what I would say to you when next I wrote. There is so much. So much has happened. It feels like it’s been a long time since you’ve heard from me.

I thought of you most at the time that I was at my most vulnerable. That was very recently. I know I should have started writing then. I wanted to. But I suppose now is a good time too; I plan to participate in NaBloPoMo and November is only a few days away.

I initially started this blog because I wanted to share the things that I experience deep within myself. I find that the inner world, much like the outer one, is amazingly multifaceted in its landscape. Some places are so beautiful…yet some so ugly. I have developed a sensitive, delicate…

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My Heart Bleeds Words

Inner Life of Pua Nani


I know very well what I did wrong.  I should not have answered his texts and calls right away.  I should not have agreed to meet him whenever he wanted.  I should not have had sex with him so quickly and frequently.  I should not have made elaborate efforts to entice him to want me.  I should not have loved him.  I should not have wanted to be with him.  I should not have gotten upset when he rejected me.  I should not have let him see that he was affecting me emotionally.  I should not have wished for a life with him.

I should have walked away before I ever met him.  I should have honored the vision that I saw before my eyes, the knowing that he would simply use me and discard me, and cancelled our first encounter.  But the realities that I saw within my inner…

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The Glassblower, Part 2

Inner Life of Pua Nani


The Glassblower is on my mind again. He is playing some kind of game with me, the usual game of love.

Every time I completely give up on him and lose interest, he reappears again.

To continue the story from my last post, The Glassblower Part 1:

A month or so after our initial date, I ran into the Glassblower at a reggae show. He was all over me that night, couldn’t keep his hands off me. The next day he called me and invited me to hang out with him.

He came to my house with his 5 year old son. They wanted to go see a kid’s movie which would have bored me, but it turned out it wasn’t playing, so I suggested that we go for a hike instead.

We went through the entrance to the woods and drove deep into the forest. It was a…

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Counting Coup

In anticipation of Valentine’s Day, I am sharing some of my poetry that portrays different aspects of love. Yesterday’s was the lighter side of love. This one today shows a darker side. Beneath the facade of a loving relationship can simmer war-like intention and harm. Those aspects are usually relegated to the subconscious or unconscious side of our emotions, and yet they are present in a discernible way nonetheless.



You kiss me

and our lips melt into each other like smooth wax.

Your warm spit enters my mouth like a gift,

luscious and wet.

You are inside me,

outside of me,

all over me,

the urgency of your desire

a thick veil wrapped around me.

Your wanting body

pressed flush to mine,

so hard against my softness.

We rock together in syncopation.

Our dreams complexly intertwined,

like a lattice pattern

similar to the black lace trim

lining the edges of my panties,

the boundary of which

you have pushed aside

to enter me.

You penetrate me to the depths of my being.

You touch me,

touch me


so deep…

Rolling and flowing over me in sensuous waves,

surfing and riding me,



you are all pulsing and fluid,


until spent,

you retreat again,

like the fading of the tide.

Then you are gone.

Again and again,

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