Treasure

belly-dance-323313_1920.jpgYou are a jewel

within the treasure chest

of my heart.

You are my topaz,

set in crushed red velvet.

You are my secret

that I have locked away.

A forbidden love,

too decadent

to reveal.

 

You charmed me

like a snake

in the dark ethereal woods

of Vrindavan.

 

I was a curvy goddess

of ruby lips,

creamy moonstone breasts,

liquid gold

between my thighs,

who got fucked

by a god

in a dream

and awoke

to an empty bed.

 

Yet my tears

become stones.

Wondrous precious stones.

 

They shine within me,

opalescent with hope.

A whisper, kyanite flecked,

a rose quartz-hued ache,

obsidian longing,

black and deep.

 

Hidden beneath my clothes,

I wear

an alabaster cameo

carved in your image.

The memory of you

pressed against my warm skin.

I can still feel

your mouth on mine,

can still hear

the faraway sound

of your approach,

your amorous

flutesong.

 

 

 

 

 

Dark Pleasure

A dark pleasure.

You were the one

to lead me

into this shadow dream.

You beckoned me

with your penetrating stare,

your high cheekboned haughtiness,

your eyes impassive and stony,

your cheeky necklace of carved bones.

You tantalized me

with omens and portents,

with aggressive kisses,

pretty words full of poison,

seductive lures.

Until I surrendered

eagerly

to your naked depravity.

You hijacked my body

like a thug,

breaking and entering,

violently taking over,

until all I wanted

was you.

Then you were an inside job.

You were inside me

and I needed you

to stay

with me.

I sought primal wholeness

in you,

like a snake eats its tail.

Like a shaman eats

the vine of the dead,

seeking completion

at the edge of the abyss.

La petite mort.

You annihilate me,

my lover,

yet still

I soar.

Dusky Rose

    
Do you still drink

of my succulence
in the hot July heat 
of a faraway dream,
my ethereal scent of geranium
rising from your night sweat,

a fragrant, poignant memory?
You know 

my taste is sweet,

that of plumeria honey.
Flowering in the sensate garden 

of my bed,

I turn towards you,
in vivid sleep.

You are my beloved ghost,
cradled in the flourishing vines
of my arms.

You may see me

as a Venus fly trap,
cunning and expedient.

But I am not that, no.
I am a dusky rose,

carefree and forgiving.
A beautiful flower,

unwittingly planted

in the dark soil

of your mind.
Pua Nani.

Master Shaman

photo-251
I don’t know how to describe the way

you beckoned me

with the subtle gestures

of your dreaming

back to you,

back to your tribe.

I just know

that you showed up one day,

in your black pick up truck.

You came for me,

feigning shyness in such a genuine manner

that it matched my own.

I greeted you in pale pink.

You embraced me, grasped my hands in yours,

and your wrists were adorned with silver and turquoise.

Your voice was soft and worn

as an ancient whisper,

gravelly with desert sand

and the language of the mesas,

the rhythmic intonations

of your native tongue.

I was struck

with the strangeness

of how familiar you were,

even despite the fact

that I had never really known you

that well.

Yet I felt the presence of my old love

lingering inside you like a shadow.

He was there with you

even as he wasn’t.

Like a father and son,

like Er and Judah

with Tamar.

I knew

about your powers.

I knew

you could see,

with eyes of

visionary artistry,

the invisible threads,

the divine loom,

the sacred weaving

that holds this mysterious tapestry

of life

sewn together,

as I do.

In your letters,

you described to me,

with exquisite detail and accuracy,

the adornment of my own inner corridors and rooms,

the delicate landscape of my imagination.

You journeyed with me

inside that realm,

a Master Shaman.

You were an unexpected gift,

a medicine

for my heart.

I did not imagine

that my past

would return

to claim me,

that I was still

so cherished.

When you held me close,

I breathed deep

of the warm depths of my personal history,

feeling your love,

enveloping, expansive,

doubled by its hidden twin.

Like an old lover coming back for more.
Just what fits.

Take Me

20140421-134329.jpg
On the wings
of my sadness
I flew into a dream
of you.

I thought I had lost you.

Yet Desire stood
waiting to be reassembled
like companion pieces of a jigsaw puzzle
into a familiar template.

You came for me
in the rooms of my dreamtime
where doors
are always unlocked for you.

You slipped past my mother’s protective guard.

You entered.

We faced each other,
solemn with sweet relief.

Your hips slid
into the groove
of my own,
locking into place,
where they fit so well
like wooden railroad tracks,
bound to each other
to forge a pathway.

I climbed on,
rode you.

I don’t care so much about the destination,
but only
that you take me.

The Glassblower, Part 2

Inner Life of Pua Nani

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The Glassblower is on my mind again. He is playing some kind of game with me, the usual game of love.

Every time I completely give up on him and lose interest, he reappears again.

To continue the story from my last post, The Glassblower Part 1: https://innerworldofpuanani.wordpress.com/2014/02/24/the-glassblower/

A month or so after our initial date, I ran into the Glassblower at a reggae show. He was all over me that night, couldn’t keep his hands off me. The next day he called me and invited me to hang out with him.

He came to my house with his 5 year old son. They wanted to go see a kid’s movie which would have bored me, but it turned out it wasn’t playing, so I suggested that we go for a hike instead.

We went through the entrance to the woods and drove deep into the forest. It was a…

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Lost My Groove

Update from the front, on the battlefield of Love

Inner Life of Pua Nani

I was so depressed today. Yesterday was an intense day for me. Things sort of came to a head within my life.

As I mentioned in my last post, the Nawab, the Indian guy I dated last year, who wants to marry me, was to be returning this weekend. I was closely tracking the changes in my inner state associated with his impending arrival.

I was looking forward to seeing him but worried. I find that usually if I spend time with one guy, any other guy that I have been dating disappears. There is something peculiar about energy flow with this. I picture it like unconsciously the one guy knocks the other out of my energy field and then the other simply fades into the background. I have observed this pattern occur so many times. Usually I cannot connect with the other guy again for awhile until I spend…

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