Pondering Erotica and Sex

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I am still processing what happened yesterday, when I discovered that my blog was designated “mature” or “nsfw” by WordPress. Anyone who is curious about that event can take a look at the forum thread at http://en.forums.wordpress.com/topic/posts-not-showing-up-in-wordpress-reader?replies=9#post-1914835

I acknowledge that my blog does contain sexual content and that some of the photos could be considered a bit risqué, though I have definitely never posted nudity or pornographic images. Anyway this incident has caused me to think more about society and sexuality and the representations thereof within our culture. Specifically I am wishing to define the difference between erotica and pornography for myself.

I should say that I have almost never even seen pornography. I know that sounds kind of bizarre for a woman who is regularly writing erotica and erotic poetry. However pornography has simply never appealed to me. What arouses me are thoughts, sensations and impressions, and not necessarily images from the media.

I have been masturbating since I was about three years old. Arousal and orgasm for me as a young child was never associated with any person or sexual act per se. It was a pathway deep inside myself to touch the divine, to feel my spiritual wholeness. Thankfully that pathway has never been compromised by any molestation, sexual abuse or experience of rape for me in this lifetime.

My first boyfriend, who I dated in high school and college, became interested in pornography at one point. I found his porn collection when I was cleaning his bedroom as a favor.

I felt uncomfortable with it. I sensed a darkness around it, a feeling of objectification, degradation.

One time he told me something that really touched me, he said “Lonely guys need pornography to be as empty as it is. If a lonely guy were to watch a movie of a woman making a beautiful meal for her husband, asking him about his day, giving supportive advice, cuddling in his arms, and making love to him, he will break emotionally.”

I understand that pornography meets a wide variety of needs and it is not always as simple as that. I do not look down on those who like pornography or use it; I simply feel it is generally lacking the depth of spiritual connection and artistic inspiration that can be present within sexual experience.

I have tried in my erotica and erotic poetry to share my own perspective on sex, the holistic depth of it, the emotional, spiritual aspects, the connection to other humans, the connection to nature. I share my writing to express myself and if it touches others and creates the space within the mind to weave sensuality and sexuality into a more fully integrated tapestry within the psyche, then that pleases me.

I can understand the position of WordPress related to the Reader. A person could easily be searching a topic like Christianity and end up looking at a pic of my boobs and a poem about about a sacrosanct tryst https://eroticapoetica.wordpress.com/2013/10/25/the-temple-of-the-mother/. Yet to me this is not necessarily wrong. This is spiritual and artistic expression. This is my truth. Even if it’s not necessarily safe for work…

4 thoughts on “Pondering Erotica and Sex

  1. I read the forum thread… Sorry that your blog has been flagged. I agree with your point about expression. But also, there seem to be a lot of blogs far more explicit than yours that haven’t been affected. It’s strange for sure.

  2. DaPoet says:

    Erotica: Poems, Short Stories and Novels containing graphic scenes of human reproductive sexuality while focusing on the underlying feelings and exploring the Emotional relationship between the characters. Is the expression of “Feminine Sexuality” and is primarily written to meet the overwrought Vampiric emotional needs of women.

    Pornography: Explicit Pictures, Movies, Graphic Novels is the expression of “Male Sexuality” without the Romance and Overwrought Emotionalism that characterizes Erotica.

    Unfortunately there are many individuals who inhabit our Double Minded Society {which both Fears and Condemns the Expression of Male Sexuality – Pornography – while Celebrating “Feminine Sexuality” as opposed to condemning it} who simply cannot tell the difference between Pornography and Erotica.

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