My Heart Bleeds Words

Inner Life of Pua Nani


I know very well what I did wrong.  I should not have answered his texts and calls right away.  I should not have agreed to meet him whenever he wanted.  I should not have had sex with him so quickly and frequently.  I should not have made elaborate efforts to entice him to want me.  I should not have loved him.  I should not have wanted to be with him.  I should not have gotten upset when he rejected me.  I should not have let him see that he was affecting me emotionally.  I should not have wished for a life with him.

I should have walked away before I ever met him.  I should have honored the vision that I saw before my eyes, the knowing that he would simply use me and discard me, and cancelled our first encounter.  But the realities that I saw within my inner…

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