Lost My Groove

Update from the front, on the battlefield of Love

Inner Life of Pua Nani

I was so depressed today. Yesterday was an intense day for me. Things sort of came to a head within my life.

As I mentioned in my last post, the Nawab, the Indian guy I dated last year, who wants to marry me, was to be returning this weekend. I was closely tracking the changes in my inner state associated with his impending arrival.

I was looking forward to seeing him but worried. I find that usually if I spend time with one guy, any other guy that I have been dating disappears. There is something peculiar about energy flow with this. I picture it like unconsciously the one guy knocks the other out of my energy field and then the other simply fades into the background. I have observed this pattern occur so many times. Usually I cannot connect with the other guy again for awhile until I spend…

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