The Game of Love

Another update from the battlefield of love

Inner Life of Pua Nani

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Right now it feels like the cards are stacked against me in the game of love.

I lost my lover and that hurt a lot.

Then the Glassblower suddenly reappeared to fill the void. That was strange. I’ve noticed a pattern where the last few times he has reached out to me just happened to have been when my lover was away or we were separated. Maybe my energy is different at those times. Perhaps I appear more vulnerable and receptive.

The Glassblower came over to my apartment two nights in a row last week. The second night he stayed the night with me. His son was sleeping at his ex wife’s house.

Sex with him is…spotty and uneven I guess…sometimes it can be very good or even great, but other times mediocre, even awkward.  Yet he is consistently fantastic at cuddling.  Part of the issue with him is that…

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Take Me

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On the wings
of my sadness
I flew into a dream
of you.

I thought I had lost you.

Yet Desire stood
waiting to be reassembled
like companion pieces of a jigsaw puzzle
into a familiar template.

You came for me
in the rooms of my dreamtime
where doors
are always unlocked for you.

You slipped past my mother’s protective guard.

You entered.

We faced each other,
solemn with sweet relief.

Your hips slid
into the groove
of my own,
locking into place,
where they fit so well
like wooden railroad tracks,
bound to each other
to forge a pathway.

I climbed on,
rode you.

I don’t care so much about the destination,
but only
that you take me.

The Glassblower, Part 2

Inner Life of Pua Nani

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The Glassblower is on my mind again. He is playing some kind of game with me, the usual game of love.

Every time I completely give up on him and lose interest, he reappears again.

To continue the story from my last post, The Glassblower Part 1: https://innerworldofpuanani.wordpress.com/2014/02/24/the-glassblower/

A month or so after our initial date, I ran into the Glassblower at a reggae show. He was all over me that night, couldn’t keep his hands off me. The next day he called me and invited me to hang out with him.

He came to my house with his 5 year old son. They wanted to go see a kid’s movie which would have bored me, but it turned out it wasn’t playing, so I suggested that we go for a hike instead.

We went through the entrance to the woods and drove deep into the forest. It was a…

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Wasted

Trying not to fall off the wagon

eroticapoetica

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I am wishing for a small thing
to give me pleasure.
Just something little.
A gesture of sweetness,
like my lover’s fingers rubbing the soft skin of my forearm
as he held me;
a touch of comfort
in the rain.

My heart grows drunk
on small sips.

I am a lightweight,
easily intoxicated
by smiles,
or better yet kisses.

But you are dangerous.

A shot of tequila,
aged well and strong.

Your words of love
go down smooth
like liquid fire.

I could easily
drink a case
and end up wasted.

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Surprise, An Erotic Story

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It was a sunny day in early April. My appointment for the afternoon had been cancelled and I found myself home with nothing I needed to be doing, a rare treat in a busy life. I decided it would be a good time to sunbathe; I was hoping to tan for the summer. My apartment is on the second floor and I had been noticing that the walls of my porch appeared to be deep enough that I could lie on the ground in the sun without being seen by anyone from the windows and patios of the neighboring houses. I wanted to sunbathe nude.

I stepped out on the porch and the smooth adobe-colored floor was screaming hot against my feet from the sun’s rays. I laid down a large beach towel and then eased onto my behind, lying backside down. Once there, I looked up and checked again to see if I might be exposed to any observers. I decided no.

I stealthily untied my black satin robe and pulled it out from underneath me. The sun was bright above me, and I draped the thin fabric of the robe over my face, covering my eyes with its cool darkness.

My skin began to absorb warmth and moisten with sweat. I settled back into the floor and breathed, allowed my mind to settle. I tuned in to the sensations occurring in my body.

Being naked in the fresh air felt good. The sun was hot against my bare skin but there was a slight breeze that came up now and again.

The breeze washed over the length of me and I felt it caress my breasts, graze my belly, tickle me between my thighs. It was a strange feeling being so exposed outdoors; it felt a little bit naughty.

I had spread my legs apart so that I would tan evenly. The coolness of the wind touched me subtly with its fingers, teasing me between my open thighs. I felt arousal swell within the depths of my inner folds. My pussy begin to throb, clenching and unclenching like a wave. Dew of arousal dripped from the tender opening, coating my sensitive skin with wetness, to be licked by the air.

I felt the fullness of my breasts bloom like flowers, my nippples hardening. I grazed one finger over my nipple and shuddered from the sensation. I wanted to touch myself more but then thought what if someone could see me?

I dropped my hand and relaxed into the ground, enjoying the sun’s heat. Arousal pulsed and flowed through my body, making my skin tingle.

All around me were the sounds of neighborhood life. Faint conversations as people walked by and the occasional sound of cars driving by on the distant street. My porch overlooked the parking lot of the apartment complex, which sat just off a quiet side street.

I tuned in to the noises, and after awhile my ears followed the sound of a car that was approaching. I heard it park nearby in the lot. Then I heard the ding of an automatic lock locking.

Something about the sound put me on my guard and made me feel like maybe I should go in. I felt strangely raw and exposed in my nakedness, even though I knew no one could see me.

I heard footsteps that sounded like they were approaching my own staircase and I began to get nervous. Was someone coming to my apartment?

I heard the footsteps begin to climb up my stairs. I knew my roommate would not be home until evening. The only person who would ever come over unannounced during the middle of the day was my lover. Sometimes he would surprise me at home in the afternoon, just when I least expected him. I froze with a mixture of fear and excitement.

I knew the door was unlocked but strained to hear a knock. Soon I heard a light knock, a da da da rhythm that confirmed it was him. I was relieved yet frightened.

Why was he visiting? We had recently decided we weren’t going to see each other anymore. I was very surprised.

Yet I was filled with a rush of heat, a sense of heightened arousal. Excitement poured through my body and I felt beads of sweat building into a liquid against my back. I heard him open the door. He called my name in his familiar voice. Instead of putting on my robe and getting up to answer the door, I decided to remain still.

I listened to him walking around inside the apartment. My face was still covered by the satin robe. He could not see my expression and I could not see him or anything else. Then I heard the sound of his footsteps walking towards me. His walk was stealthy and quiet. He paused right outside the screen door. I felt him gazing down at me. He was silent and so was I. I held still with great effort. I imagined what he saw, me lying supine, fully naked, my skin rosy from heat and arousal, my breasts pillowy and full, nipples pointed up, my legs slightly parted, my pussy exposed.

Then I heard the sound of his zipper unzipping, his belt buckle unbuttoning. A smile spread across my lips and my body relaxed. I allowed myself to revel in the anticipation of pleasure.

I heard him push the screen door aside and step outside. I felt him bend down over me and then place his hands on my knees, nudging my legs to open wider. He kneeled before me, between my spread legs. His skin felt cool against my own.

His movements were slow and deliberate. Suddenly I felt the head of his hot cock press against the lips of my labia, dipping into the moisture. I moaned involuntarily. He rubbed the length of his cock against my clit, teasing me just like he knew I like to be teased.

He teased me til I was going crazy. Finally, I grabbed onto his hips and pulled him to me, guiding him inside me.

We both gasped at the shock of penetration, as he slid deep inside my plush wetness.

He lowered himself down on top of me, pressing his chest against me, and pushed away the satin cloth that covered my face. For a second our eyes locked.

“I missed you” he whispered.

He leaned in to kiss me.

What a delicious surprise.

Haggadah

A spiritual poem on my other blog, Inner Life of Pua Nani

Inner Life of Pua Nani

If only
to tell
and retell.

My voice opens
like an ancient book
in majesty.

My song is deep and thick
like cloudy wine,
inviting the invisible
to drink.

The door opens
and nighttime enters.
I shine like seven stars
in a dream,
bright and bursting
with obscure meaning.

Cradled in the cup
of my memories,
I am
a child again.

My father
is a wandering Aramean
and we are
journeying still.

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