An Ode to Your Inner Fat Girl

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She is condemned
and disdained
for her girth,
her untamed abundance.

I look at my thighs as they spread across the beach chair at the pool
and they seem as vast
as the Pacific Ocean
to my judgmental eye.
But my silky flesh
is clean and smooth,
pillowy,
inviting.
Men enter
my depths
with a shudder
of pleasurable relief,
like sliding
into a warm bath.

Life is hard
but my body is soft.

In Mauritania,
only fat women
are considered beautiful.
Fat is wealth.

The truth is
beauty is in the eye
of the beholder.

Why not hold yourself
and your loved ones
with a gaze of love?
We only have this one life.

I am not really that large,
but in my heart
I am a big woman,
fat and happy.

If Only

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If only I had the power and poise of a ringmaster
I would create a circus to amuse you,
of daredevil stunts and exotic pleasures.
Already I have flipped and dove
like an acrobat
for you.
Flying into thin air
and falling into the net
of nothing.
I have performed for you
my titillating burlesque show.
I have given you too many sweets.
But I have not lead you
inside the lion’s den,
nor fed you to the hungry tigers.

You are a strange one, my love.
Not made of soft earth like me,
but of fire,
and the wind
that feeds it.

Your mother ran out of milk
while you were still suckling.
Lack became your preferred feast.
Now you crave the torment
of a dry breast,
a woman who gives nothing.

If only
I could give you that!
Maybe someday, someday
I will stop loving you

and seduce you
the right way.